nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
