So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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