Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
