don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
