An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
