I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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