i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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