You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
