Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize