i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
