We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
