please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize