theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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