bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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