I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
