they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
