You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
