I feel like I'm in dance class right now
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
