I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
