He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Randomize
