just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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