When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think I sprained my soul last night
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
