Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Randomize
