As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
