It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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