Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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