i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
