wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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