never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Alive.
So much puke
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
