whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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