O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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