I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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