I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
