Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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