her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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