I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
