thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
