You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
