I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
