i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize