there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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