there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
