So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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