The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
