So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The feeling are messing with the penis
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
