Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i think im in europe. pls send help
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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