You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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