So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
