i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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