the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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