I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
