i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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