you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
