You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
