my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
