I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
