Dual....:-)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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