Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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