Buhtt sex?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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