yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
