Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
