R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize